Kara M. Bellew is a partner of Rower LLC and has been practicing exclusively in the field of matrimonial and family law since 2005. Kara helps clients resolve their divorces in a way that is right for them. The consequences of periodic or ongoing excessive drinking can lead to the deterioration of the communication channels, as well as the intimate relationship between the couple. Specific manifestations of such deterioration may include arguments, serious financial problems, acts of infidelity and acts of violence. A recurring theme in the journeys of those maintaining sobriety through divorce is the irreplaceable role of community. The strength gained from being part of support groups, whether formal or informal, is immeasurable.
- It is only the beginning of a long, arduous, rarely successful trudge to save the marriage.
- The commitment to a sober lifestyle offers a sense of direction and purpose, aiding in the reconstruction of a fulfilling life post-divorce.
- As long as I kept drinking, my wife knew I would get drunk and do it all again.
- Instead, each couple must be honest with themselves and examine the role of the addiction within their relationship.
- Each relationship is unique, meaning not all divorces caused by addiction are solely on the shoulders of the person with the disease.
Over the last 20 years, the number of divorces in the United States has decreased from 944,000 in 2000 to 782,038 in 2018. The financial burden of addiction, however, is not the only way it can affect a marriage. People living with addiction may neglect the needs of others, as well as their own, in order to continue engaging in unsupportive behaviors related to their addiction.
Substance Abuse and Intimate Relationships
Instead, you go back and forth between the desire to stay sober and the urge to use drugs or alcohol. Only at the end of this lengthy process do most people follow through on their craving and relapse. Family involvement in treatment has been shown to be an important component in supporting divorce after sobriety recovery. This involves not just addressing the drinking and/or drug use, but also the problems within the relationship. Explains the AAMFT, “If the issues in the relationship are not treated, they can set the stage for continued conflict and, in turn, relapse to drinking or drug use.
Divorce is one of the most difficult decisions a person can make. When addiction is involved, the decision can become even more complicated. Fortunately, resources, such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline, are available if your safety is at risk.
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Those who struggle with substance abuse also have financial troubles, which can lead to divorce. A drug addict can spend 50% or more of their income on substances. Additionally, some people spend up to $1,200 daily on drugs. One spouse’s addiction can strain a marriage, and the signs listed above can often lead to divorce.
For six months after, every day I had to have one at 11 a.m. If I tried to take a day off, I’d think about it so much that I couldn’t do anything else until I got one. When I discovered a love of cold-brew coffee, I was able to ditch my daily chai latte. I’m scared to have a sip of chai again; now, of course, I have to have a cold brew every day. After addiction, broken trust is likely to be the biggest obstacle to overcome in your marriage. For the recovering addict, this means absolute honesty is essential.
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Through counseling, your spouse may learn to acknowledge the strain their addiction put on your relationship and take concrete steps to mend them. Through couples counseling or family therapy, you and your spouse may be able to work through some of the challenges you both faced as a result of your spouse’s addiction. If you’re considering seeking a divorce from an addicted spouse, you’re not alone. Behavioral health treatment providers https://ecosoberhouse.com/ see the strain that addiction can have on a person’s most intimate relationships every day. With substance-induced marriage troubles in mind, a program which offers family therapy and support and/or marriage counseling should be made a priority. The most successful programs offer a blend of behavioral therapies and counseling, set against a variety of engaging treatment methods which inspire a person to live a sober, balanced life.
Divorce is known for its ability to increase your stress levels for extended periods of time. Luckily, there are things you can do to remain substance-free while going through these trying times. No matter which of these categories you belong to, divorce can be an extremely painful process. Rates are even higher for people who get married more than once. If they push you away or want to know why they are not with you as often, let them know they are in wonderful hands with your ex (even if you have your complaints or doubts).
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Here, it’s healthiest for that person to step back, get therapy, and learn how to function on their own again. Codependency can result from trauma, from certain personality types, and from past trauma that has nothing to do with your substance abuse. If you’re facing a divorce, you already know you have to manage and navigate heartbreak, stress, and loneliness.
- So, if you or your partner is having a problem with alcohol or other drugs, there is hope.
- Call or message a local BAART clinic today to learn more about treatment programs and more.
- No matter what anyone tells you – divorce is like a death in how it affects your life.
- For six months after, every day I had to have one at 11 a.m.
- If a couple is staying together, the sober individual staying active within the addicted partner’s recovery will help both to nurture a drug-free life.
Although enabling may feel like a way of protecting your spouse, supporting your spouse is different than enabling. Ways to support a loved one who is battling addiction might include attending couples counseling and driving them to treatment. This can cause significant financial stress for couples and families and may be even further compounded by other costs related to addiction. This may include the cost of drugs or alcohol, treatment costs, and loss of income.
